The Drinker’s Guide to Massage Therapy

By Jennifer Malia Roche

First of all, let it be clear that drinking and spa-going do not ever, ever go together (you know who you are, don’t go there). But that being said, it’s been more than a little noticeable to us over the years that there is a mysterious correlation between a guy’s drink of choice and what type of spa-service he books.

So, which guy are you?

 

#1 The Craft Beer Drinker
This is the guy who, hands-down, is a deep-tissue/sports massage guy. He’s the work-hard-play-hard type who is a connoisseur (but never a snob) about his beer. He plays golf, he runs marathons, he knows how to correctly do a dead lift. For this fella, we suggest the Integrated Therapy Massage, our most technical, detailed, deep-tissue  massage – just the thing for combating those six hours of yard work you did last weekend.

#2 The Wine Guy
He’s been to tastings from Napa to Manhattan. He’s educated. He knows exactly why it really is OK to drink chardonnay with steak or pinot noir with fish. You may never have seen him at the Indy 500 but no doubt you’ve walked past him sitting in First Class, already deep into his first glass of Cab Sav. This guy is clearly our choice for our very own Pinehurst Massage – customizable, creative and jet-set friendly.

 

OK, maybe we’re a little off here.

#3 The Scotch Drinker
We’re talking single-malt here. This is the guy with the life experience to know the difference between and highland and lowland and the vocabulary to clearly explain the difference. We’re thinking… he’s Sportsman’s Pedicure guy – confident enough in his own manhood to let someone else trim and shape his toenails and enough of an aficionado to appreciate the caliber of the grooming once it’s done.

 

#4 The Margarita Guy
This guy is easy to spot; he’s the one with the terrible sunburn. If you sit on the patio and order it by the pitcher, dude, eventually that sunscreen is going wear right off. Our advice to you? Re-apply with each refill and come in and see us for a Hot Towel Facial when your burn subsides. It’s just the thing to get all that zinc off your face before you head back to work on Monday.

 

#5 The Martini Guy
This man enjoys a drink that leaves him feeling light on his feet. He’s a wee bit retro, a tad classic and more than a smidgen Don Draper. This guy is not going to get a massage unless it something that is in a class by itself, like he is. We know you, mister, you are the Heart of the Pines Massage guy, what else? The HOTP is the only massage we offer where fresh pine needles meet ancient Indian aromatherapy in a globally-friendly mash-up of pure energy. It’s perfect for a guy who is somehow a die-hard locavore with Platinum mileage status.

Jennifer Malia Roche is the Director of the The Spa at Pinehurst.

Comments