Pinehurst News

The best caddie jokes in golf

CaddieCap2

As long as there has been golf, there has been the quipping caddie, cracking the one-liners shot at their three-jack, shanking day-employers, otherwise known as the hacking golfer. At Pinehurst, even with a century-long history of great caddies, many of whom are institutions themselves, we can neither confirm nor deny such activity thrives on the likes of Pinehurst No. 2 or our other golf courses.*

*We do, however, remember producing a video a couple of years ago that spent half a day on our Facebook page. In the video, we recreated a few of these adored quips and jokes and sneers. As you can imagine, it was initially very popular, was beginning to spread rapidly – and then was quickly deemed entirely too offensive to allow to continue with unfettered access on the interwebs. Alas, the video has been destroyed, never to be shown again. (Wait, what is this flash drive? Hmmmmm.)

Many of these quips are well-known, of course, and some you may have even heard here and there. And in the spirit of this day, let us all enjoy them once more. (And if you have more, feel free to leave them in the comments section below. Just keep them (relatively) clean.)

FROM THE FAIRWAY

Golfer hits a shot way right
Player: “What’s over there?”
Caddie: “Bogeys.”

Player: “Can we get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddie: “Eventually.”

Golfer swings
Caddie: “I’ve seen better strokes in intensive care.”

Golfer swings
Caddie: “I believe you have a loft problem.”
Player: “Really, a loft problem?”
Caddie: “Yup. Lack Of Freaking Talent.”

Player: “What’s long over the green?”
Caddie: “A 6 or 7.”

Ball stuck behind a tree
Player: “Is this the best you could do?”
Caddie: “You should’ve seen where it was.”

Golfer swings, disgusted
Player: “This is the worst I’ve ever played.”
Caddie: “Not true. You were much worse yesterday.”

ON THE TEE

Golfer swings a driver
Caddie: “You have a great short game. Unfortunately, it’s off the tee.”

Ball in air on a par-3
Caddie: “Short.”
Player: “Short?!”
Ball lands on false front and rolls off.
Caddie: “That’s a GVR. Green Visited in Regulation.”

Golfer swings
Caddie: “You know, fairways do come with the greens fee.”

Golfer swings
Player: “Where’d it go?”
Caddie: “Left.”
Player: “How far left?”
Caddie: “When you see Nancy Pelosi, you’re getting close.”

Player: “What should I hit?”
Caddie: “Try the fairway.”

ON THE GREEN

Putt comes up just short
Caddie: “That’s a Cuban.”
Player: “A Cuban?”
Caddie: “One more revolution and it would’ve been perfect.”

Golfer skulls a chip over the green
Caddie: “Tough green to hit from there.”

Player: “I’m so freaking mad I feel like breaking something.”
Caddie: “How about par?”

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Best Tweets – Tiger’s plane lands in Augusta

Twitter nearly broke on Tuesday morning when The Augusta Chronicle’s Scott Michaux reported that Tiger Woods’ plane had been spotted in Augusta, meaning a pre-Masters practice round was in the offing, and a likely Tiger return next week.

Here are some of the better Tweets in the moments after the news of a plane-sighting broke.

Crazy world we live in, huh?

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Video: Get your round started…in a positive way

Pinehurst Golf Academy PGA Master Professional Eric Apenfels offers three tips on how to properly begin your round. Love the insight on how to prepare on the practice range before you step to the first tee.

(H/T to PGA.com.)

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Basketball (after golf) with His Airness, Tom Brady …and Keegan Bradley?

What happens when Michael Jordan, Tom Brady and PGA Champion Keegan Bradley end up in the Bahamas together?

They play a little pickup hoops – after they had played a round of golf. Apparently, Bradley tested the waters, telling Scott Van Pelt on “SVP and Russillo” (listen above, especially for the additional golf stories, including MJ’s presses) that he asked Luke Donald about going to shoot some hoops, hoping Jordan would take the bait.

He did.

And so we have this clip, found on Instagram:

Reminds us of when this happened.

Pretty great. Wouldn’t mind seeing something similar here. We know MJ likes No. 2…

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Behind the Scenes: Pinehurst breakfast buffet

By Sarah Campbell
Pinehurst Resort

Each morning when the crystal chandeliers light up, a flurry of activity descends on the back portion of the Carolina Dining Room.

It’s 5 a.m. and about a dozen Pinehurst employees are methodically moving about setting up the famous breakfast buffet.

As three long rows of tables go up, black cloth is draped across each one. White overlays are added to finish the look. Next, stainless steel serving dishes are placed along the center tables to store hot foods like grits, bacon and biscuits.

It’s obvious each employee knows exactly what to do.

Alton and Shelia shine the silverware and meticulously fold dozens of cloth napkins.

Nicholas pours hot water into the serving dishes to ensure the food will stay warm throughout the four-hour breakfast window.

Shekia rolls out a cart filled with bowls of fruit and arranges them along the back table while Wanda places an assortment of freshly-baked pastries at the other end.

Thomas sits a large bowl of eggs behind him as he readies his omelet station.

“It’s a lot of preparation in such a short period of time, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication,” said Laura, the Carolina Dining Room’s morning manager. “We are lucky to have such a great team.”

… Continue Reading

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